are we even friends?

you never fail to disappoint me,
although we haven't been in touch for months.

i didn't walk out of your life.
i was chased out of your life. by you.
i'm not someone who likes remember the unhappy events but i just thought it was unnecessary for the big fuss then.

i believe that when things go wrong, both parties are at fault.
i believe keeping mum was my fault.
but if only you could understand why.
if you could have been more understanding in my situations,
maybe we would be as close as we used to be.

you chased me out of your life.
i left for laos. and china.
and while i was away, i was THE ONE who took the initiative to message you.
did you? no.
you put me out of your life since that fateful day.

we finally met up after so many months.
so many months of misunderstanding uncleared.
so many months of unspoken words.
i just felt i don't belong anymore.
we don't speak the same language anymore.
we don't share the same dream anymore.
and we don't see life the same again.

i'm sorry i haven't called or smsed.
i'm sorry i don't share your life anymore.
as you always think i am too busy for you.
but aren't you the same?

you always say i don't call or sms.
why aren't you doing the same?
why am i always the one.
are you the only one disappointed?
am i not?

you used to be my most important girl.
you really were.

i'm sorry i don't share your life the same way i did.
but i'm glad i used to.

am i supposed to leave your life altogether since you have never tried to understand?
part of me is eager in order not to feel greater disappointment.
part of me just can't bear to.
you used to be my most important girl.

i do miss those times together.
have you ever asked?

ying.
you used to be my most important girl.
you really were.